. . . but Zora does, and how!  The closest I've ever come to delivering a puppy was damn near 40 years ago, during a childhood visit to Michigan.  My siblings, cousins and I were out playing, when I noticed a stray bitch walking down the sidewalk with a puppy hanging out of her feet first.  I remember this dog crying in pain, and my heart going out to her.  Now, being that this was during the very early 70's, 911 was not yet in use, so what did I do?  I called the police and the fire department to try and get someone to come and help this poor little dog.  Of course, my six-year old mind didn't understand that this dog's situation was not considered an emergency, and no one would be coming to help.  I somehow managed to get the dog to my uncle's garage, found some gloves (yeah, the dishwashing type) and proceeded to pull this puppy out.  The puppy was dead, but I cannot forget the gratitude in the bitch's eyes after I removed her dead baby.  I found and shoe box and gave that little pup a proper burial in my uncle's backyard.  I don't know what happened to the bitch.  Anyhow, that's about the extent of my "birthing" experience.

So let's fast forward to Wednesday, February 28, 2007.  Zora, my Giant bitch, (who, incidentally became an uber-bitch during pregnancy) just became . . . well . . . downright nutty.  All night she was in and out of the bed, staring off into space and panting -- generally, restless.  I mean restless to the point of my getting maybe three hours' sleep Wednesday night.  Add to that behavior the fact that I've have a headache since Monday and you can probably figure out that Thursday morning came way too quickly for me.  I had a clue that this was the behavior to look for as syptoms of imminent delivery, so I took the day off from work so I could monitor Zora's progress (as well as keep her from killing Obie or Zig.)  As an aside, Obie's napoleon complex has the potential to get him into serious trouble.  Thursday morning, Obie accidentally brushed up against Zora and she literally tried to kill him.  He produced a couple of yelps before I got her off of him.  Of course, my dogs have a Three Muskateer mentality, so Obie's yelps stirred Zig to action.  The next thing I know, I'm in the middle of a dog fight because Zig thinks it's all a game and wanted to join in the fun.  Yep, it's a three ring circus here.  Anyhow, Zora was pitifully comical in trying to locate a den to have her pups.  Since my dogs live inside the house, you can imagine the types of "dens" she was eyeing.  She went from the living room to the family room to my bedroom, trying to "dig out" a spot. This, of course, involved digging the sofas in both family and living room, digging one of the big dog beds on the floor, digging a featherbed in my bedroom and crawling behind a chair in the living room.  This went on from about 8:00 a.m. until her water broke at about 4:45 p.m. or so.  In the interim, she was crying and moaning pitifully.  Zig and Obie also have the three Muskateer mentality when one of the others cries out, so they wanted to "comfort" her; Zora wasn't having it.  Not surprisingly, she allowed me to sit with her during her labor, and would be her head in my lap in between contractions.  Must have been some kind of pain, because at one point she started ripping up the featherbed with her teeth during contractions.  Also, not surprising that she chose to go into my bedroom to have her litter, but I managed to get her moved to one of my guest rooms right after her water broke.  Another aside:  for a whelping box, the best thing in the world is a two-ring blow-up swimming pool from Wally's World -- thing only costs about $5.00,  has a cushioned bottom, and is easy to clean.  Plus the tubular shape helps prevent the bitch from rolling over on the pups and suffocating them.)  I had originally purchased a three-ring pool, but was too big  at 60" diameter.  She did whelp her pups in the 60-inch pool, but I went and got the smaller 48" one and it is the perfect size.

Well, whelping puppies involves a lot of waiting.  And it also involves a lot of worrying.  Zora's water broke a little before 5:00 p.m. Thursday.  Here's the timeline of what happened after that:

Thursday, March 1, 2007:

6:18 p.m. - a black male entered the world feet first, having already torn his sac.  Zora immediately cleaned him up, but kinda freaked and was afraid of him when she heard him make a sound.  He is a screamer!  Once I put the little guy up to her nipple and her began nursing, she was fine.

7:47 p.m. - a black female.

8:10 p.m. - black male with a white lightning bolt on his chest

8:34 p.m. - black male with a white lightning bolt on his chest (yes, identical to previous pup)

8:44 p.m. - black female.  When no more pups are forthcoming, I'm thinking "wow, small litter of five -- not too bad if this is the end."  I was wrong.

10:51 p.m. - salt and pepper male (he's a big 'un!),  I was really worried with this one because the vet told me that if more than two hours passed between pups, there might be a problem, and prepare to bring her into the emergency vet for a possible C-section.  Right as I got up to make preparations for the drive to the e-vet, this fella slides out.  Better late than never, right?

11:00 p.m. - black female.  The count is now up to seven pups, and I think she's done.  Wrong again.

Friday, March 2, 2007:

1:12 a.m. - black male

1:29 a.m. - black male.  Finally done (at least, so I think).  I stay up with Zora as she nurses her pups and to watch for any more contractions.  By 3:00, I get really sleepy and start fading out, although it's really hard with the screaming mimis on the floor next too me.  These little pups are the size of rats.  Their eyes are fused, but I was surprised to see how well they crawl in search of a nipple.  There are a couple of mercenaries in the bunch too!  LOL!  Zora finally gets up to go outside to pee, and when she returns and all the pups find a nipple, peace is restored.

7:30 a.m.  I awake to the chorus of the screaming mimis and my alarm clock.  Zora has gone outside for a morning pee, and the pups want their nipple.  But hey, what's this?  You weren't here before.  Somewhere between 3:00 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., another black puppy arrive.  I do not yet know its sex.  But damn.  Ten babies?  I couldn't imagine.  And the noise the little boogers make is unbelievable.  But they are sooooo cute.  And Zora is such a good mom.  Initially I had the door to teh room she was in closed while she was delivering.  Zig and Obie were very curious about the new strange noise coming from the room.  I finally opened the door so they could see us (my Velcro dogs like to follow me everywhere -- Zora's delivery was the longest I've not been around them while in the house).  There is an invisible gate across the threshold to that room -- if Obie or Zig crosses it, Zora makes it very clear that "if you come any closer, I'll kill ya."  Zig (the pup's dad) is very curious; Obie is a little afraid of them.

10:00 a.m.  I put the pups in a round clothes basket lined with a fleece blanket, and place one blanket on top, so I can take them and Zora to visit Dr. Schumacher for a check-up.  The vet's office is about 1-1/2 miles from my house.  I put the basket of pups on the passenger front floor, and Zora rode shotgun as usual.  Well, in the short five-minute drive to the vet's office, Zora tried to fit all of her 80-pound body into that basket on the floor with the pups.  Whew!  What a mess.  I had to have her muzzled while Dr. Schumacher examined her, and she had indeed expelled all of her pups, and was in good shape.  Her pups were in the adjoining room getting their checks, and all passed with flying colors.  We have to go back in a couple of days to have tails docked and dew claws removed.  I've got to make a decision about the tails pretty soon.  Most folk are used to seeing Schnauzers with docked tails, although it is now illegal to crop or dock in most European countries now.  I'll leave the ears natural on the pups; not sure about tails yet, though.

6:00 p.m.  Zora and her litter are in their room sleeping; Zig, Obie and I are in the family room chilling as I type this.  I must've really been tired, because we went to Wally's world and Whataburger right at noon (all the dogs had burgers, too), and I came back and crashed on the daybed in Zora's room.  When I woke up it was 5:00.  Dang.

Now I've just got to find good homes for the little guys.  I think Mr. Salt and Pepper will be staying in the Land of O.Z.Z.; I spoke with someone at the Duncanville Police Department about donating a pup to their K-9 program and am waiting to hear back from them.  These dogs are great working dogs, and I really want them to go to good homes where they get a chance to work.  I also have a few potential buyers interested in purchasing pups, but I do not yet know if those buyers will be good homes.  We'll see.  In the meantime, I live in a house with 12 Giant Schnauzers and one vertically challenged Miniature Schnauzer who thinks he's a Giant -- I'm sure I'll have some interesting stories to tell.

Obie here.  Today, we went to visit the doctor.  The Wiz kinda tricked us, because we thought we were just going to PetSmart (the doc's office is inside PetSmart).   Anyhow, me and Zora went to get our comprehensive exams (basically, a lot of poking and prodding to make sure The Wiz was keeping us healthy), and Zig had to have a bunch of tests done because The Wiz was afraid he might have diabetes or something.  I tell you, that Zig can really pee a lot!  And he sometimes does it in the house!  (Actually, he's been doing it a lot in the house of late.)  Me and Zora just kinda look at him like, "whoooo . . . you're gonna be in trouble," but The Wiz kinda takes it in stride.  I think she knows something isn't quite right.   So, anyhow, we get to PetSmart and The Wiz is getting us ready to get out of the car, when this vet tech lady comes running up to offer assistance.  It was a really bad idea on her part, because Zora doesn't like for ANYONE to approach the car -- especially if they're moving too fast.  Well, Zora must've thought that woman was gonna try to hurt The Wiz, because she tried to bite her.  Of course, this got me going 'cause we're kinda like The Three Musketeers . . . you know:  all for one and one for all?  So, as The Wiz is getting Zig out of the back seat, I became "bat dog" and jumped out of the front window so I could lend Zora a hand in fending off this stranger.  I ran a couple of circles around that woman barking, but then I got distracted and made a bee-line to the front door of PetSmart.  (There was another stranger on the inside of the door and she lassoed me as soon as I came in -- darnit.)   I must've barked the whole time.  The Wiz always tries to make out visits to the vet a pleasant experience.  I can tell you that this visit was not pleasant at all.  Nosiree!  People don't seem to understand that The Wiz is used to handling the three of us without assistance.  I think she asked the vet to put a note in the file to make sure no one tries to come out and "help" us in the future.  I had fun, but I think The Wiz was really frustrated.

Anyhow, our poking and prodding wasn't too bad, but I feel for Baby Huey (oh -- that's what I call Zig, BTW).  He had to have all kinds of tests done:  blood glucose, CBC, internal organ function screen and urinalysis.  The good news is that the vet couldn't find anything wrong.  For some reason, though, The Wiz was really cranky after we left.  It had something to do with the way Baby Huey's tests were conducted.  (The vet performed his urinalysis on pee off the floor).  So I don't think she's convinced that Baby Huey is as okay as the vet says.  I really feel for Baby Huey.  Now he's gonna have to have a bunch of more tests done to make sure he's okay.  I think The Wiz is gonna take him to a specialist to make sure he doesn't have something called "diabetes insipidus."  I hope not.  He can get on my nerves sometimes, but I really like roughhousing with him.   I think she was also a little annoyed that Zora's Gentle Leader was broken when she picked us up.  That meant that Zora was a LOT harder to handle.   In fact, on the way to the car, some idiot makes the mistake of running up to have a look at us; needless to say, Zora went into protection mode and scared him off.  The Wiz didn't like that one bit.  She ignored us all the way home.  Glad it wasn't me this time.  Usually, I'm the instigator.  Zora was probably just bitchy (no pun intended) because she had to get a rabies booster.   She was nice to the doctor, though.  The Wiz says I have to stop getting the other two aggravated.  I can't help it that I like to bark, and I certainly can't help it that they like to protect me.  But The Wiz says I've gotta learn to cool my jets.  Hey, I'm just talking to everyone -- I don't mean any harm.  Well, that's all I have to say for now.